just hanging in there...

that's my update. I'm just hanging in there.

physically I'm doing fine (as is baby; he/she passed Monday's NST with flying colors). I'm tired and not sleeping a lot and things ache and all those things, but... I'm fine. I'm not desperate physically to have this baby.

emotionally though... AHAHAHAHHHA!!! Get this kid out of me. I'm impatient. Let's do this thing. Let me meet you - are you a boy or a girl? how will Kaylee and ethan really react to you? No, I'm not 100% ready, but I never will be and who cares about those things anyway? I know, I keep thinking, having some face wipes would be nice at the hospital. And I haven't bought any yet. But who really cares? it's only 2 days, how slimy can I get? This isn't lung surgery here people, it's not days and days of hanging out in the hospital before surgery and then days afterwards.

Back to physically though, I would really like to have a VBAC which means I need to go into labor soon here people. I mean, I'm having practice contractions. And I can tell you that all of my pelvic bones are shifting around, because it often feels like I just rode the STP (a really long bike ride) the day before, so my body is preparing. And if I have a C-section, all that is wasted. So get all the way ready body. Let's have this kid.

Anyways, I should go do some laundry. All these NSTs and ultrasounds get all sorts of goo on my pants and shirts and I would like to have something to wear tomorrow so I should get on that.

But our family is mostly healthy; we're 90% over our colds so... let's do this thing.